We are always looking for ways to support our children, especially when they face unique challenges. For autistic children, communication can be one of those challenges. However, there is a powerful tool that can make a significant difference in their communication skills and ability to connect with others – declarative language.

Declarative language is all about sharing what we know or think in the form of comments or statements. This type of communication creates a safe space for children to listen, process, integrate information and think.  When they feel ready, they will share their own thoughts in a meaningful way.  Declarative communication helps children understand what they see, and the reasons behind actions of others.  It helps them feel grounded and connected to their world.  Declarative communication is what we use every day when sharing our thoughts and experiences with friends and family.  It creates reciprocity of unscripted exchanges of thoughts.   

Due to communication challenges experienced by autistic children, they lack the skills to participate in reciprocal interactions.  This makes us uncomfortable, so we try to create false reciprocity by asking repetitive questions.  However, rather than helping children communicate, we teach them to be compliant by answering questions to which we often know the answer.   

Declarative language invites people to share experiences and to connect with others.  It helps maintain a calm and regulated state of the nervous system as it does not demand a response.   For example, by saying: “I like your bright red shoes” we bring a child’s attention to their shoes, indicating their colour.  If the child knows the colour red, he will feel comfortable in his knowledge and feel good about his nice shoes.  If he doesn’t know the colour red, using the word in the context of looking at his shoes will start to have meaning.  On a different occasion we can spotlight another item that is red and this knowledge will grow.  In contrast, by asking: “What colour are your shoes?”  we are pretending that we don’t know, which is not true.  If the child knows, he won’t learn anything new and he won’t get the nice feeling about you liking his shoes.   If he doesn’t know the colour red, he won’t be able to answer, which will bring negative feelings to the interaction, adding more stress next time he is asked a question.   

Another downfall of asking questions is that we model this as “communication”.  Children start asking the same questions just to receive predictable answers.  Sadly, it doesn’t promote learning or communication development.  It is best not to ask questions to which we know the answer to keep our communication authentic.  If you are curious to know if the child knows something, frame it into a comment.  For example: “I need more red blocks”, put your hand out and see if you receive red blocks.  If they are for example blue, say: “they are blue, I really need red blocks”.  Another opportunity for learning while avoiding negative comments like “they are not red”.  You could then point to the red block to help your child make a successful choice.  

Declarative language empowers children to become problem solvers. By sharing observations and experiences, we provide them with opportunities to think critically and independently. For instance, if a child breaks a pencil, instead of saying, “Go sharpen your pencil,” you might comment, “I see that your pencil is broken.” This invites the child to come up with a solution on their own, promoting independence and confidence. If the child can’t resolve the problem, it creates a nice opportunity for us to know exactly where their abilities are and we can scaffold the task to ensure success by saying “the sharpener is next to you”. 
 Another advantage of declarative language is that it helps autistic children see the bigger picture. Children often focus on details and may struggle to integrate them into a broader context. By using declarative language, we can help them connect new information with what they already know, enabling them to form a coherent understanding of their environment.

Finally, declarative language provides a window into different perspectives. Autistic children often find it challenging to understand that others may have different thoughts and feelings. By regularly sharing our own thoughts and emotions in a non-threatening way, we can help them appreciate the diversity of perspectives around them.

Incorporating declarative language into your daily interactions with your child can be transformative. It may not yield immediate results, but with consistent use, it can lead to significant and lasting improvements in their communication skills. As parents, we have the power to shape the communication of our children, and by choosing declarative language, we can support their journey towards becoming confident, competent and meaningful communicators. 

Author: Kimberly Elter – Occupational Therapist